Aikidoseura Hokutokai

Like does not heal like; it perpetuates it. Force does not end force; it only continues the use of force. Violence will never end violence; it will only kill more people.

We have a choice in how we think and respond. We can choose from four different responses. Unfortunately, when faced with a threatening, potentially violent situation, we usually choose one of the two traditionally opposite responses. We can fight or we can take flight.

One can choose to fight, meet force with force. The temporary win only postpones an equally or more aggressive counter-response, more force. Besides, force is born from fear. The fear of there not being enough to go around. The fear of not being good enough. The fear that someone else will hurt me, so I will strike first.

The second response is to take flight. Unfortunately, this choice reinforces that people can get their way through violence. Flight reinforces that violence works. We are left with only more violence. Taking flight is born of fear also. The same fear that turns into a fight can turn into a flight.

There is a lesser known, but widely used third response. It is the choice to freeze. When faced with a threatening potentially violent situation, just freeze. Do not move or respond. Many believe that this is a type of passive, nonviolent response. However, it is passive-aggressive resistance usually born out of fear. It too allows the violence to continue without interference, thus reinforcing it.

Therefore, fighting does not work. Taking flight does not work. Freezing does not work. In many ways, these responses do not work because they are born of the same type of thinking that created the violence to begin with. They are born from fear. Violence is a fear-based emotion. Is there a choice, not based on fear, which does work?

The fourth alternative is to flow. To flow means to move along and to proceed continuously from a source. The flow, conceptually, has three stages. These stages can, and do, apply to any form of conflict, be it physical, verbal or emotional. The flow is, in essence, a nonviolent conflict resolution model.

The first stage is entering and blending. To enter is to go into, or become involved. Entering is not a passive process but a very active one. Entering moves towards the source of the conflict.owever, entering is not moving violently or coming from that place of fear. Entering is to blend. To blend is to mix smoothly, to fit, to relate harmoniously, to become inseparable. Too often, we try to solve a problem by staying away from it. By not participating directly, we can never understand it and so never solve it. Violence comes from the fear that separates them from us. We will not solve the violence by keeping the separation but by entering, blending and becoming inseparably involved. Since we cannot only solve our own problems, it is important for each of us, as people, as a community, as a country, and as a world, to accept that violence is a problem we all suffer from. Let us choose to enter and blend peaceably, without fear.

The second stage is to redirect and imbalance. To redirect is to change the direction or focus. When we see through the violence to the fear beneath, we can begin to redirect the focus. We can begin to address the fear and pain. This change of focus will create imbalance. Imbalance is to lose mental and physical equilibrium or steadiness. Violence is wrongly thought of as strength. Some even think it as another part of our human nature. Because not all humans are violent, the genetic, biological, or cultural causes of violence lose some validity. Violence becomes unbalanced when seen for the fear and weakness it is. The redirection of the focus allows us to choose a path of healing. Let us choose to redirect and imbalance violence peaceably, without fear.

The third stage is to control and finish. To control is the ability to hold in check, to be in charge and to prevent. To choose to take charge violently, no matter which side we are on, only reinforces the fear. History has proven that control through violence never lasts long. To finish means to bring to an end, to complete a task. Let us choose to take control and be finished with violence peaceably, without fear.

As Einstein said, "Our thinking creates problems that the same type of thinking cannot solve." Perhaps the problems created by fearful thinking and choosing a different way of thinking can only solve violence: the way of peace.

(Published in Long Beach Grunion Gazette Newspaper 3/9/2000)